Now I'm here in Ijmuiden, twenty minutes south of the Dutch capital, trapped in a Holiday Inn with twenty other people from the international offices of the company for which I labour. There are delegates from almost ten countries including Budapest, Poland and Russia but thankfully they are all practically fluent in English so even though I am the only native speaker of our entire group, I don't have to put in nearly so much effort to be understood. We are 'trained' from 8.30am until 6.00pm every day, Monday to Wednesday, with all our meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner taken in the hotel restaurant with the other course participants. Pretty full on. I've never been to Amsterdam and the fact that it is hovering in the near distance, less than half an hour away, is somewhat frustrating, but I've got as much chance of seeing the sights as I have of being mistaken for Paris Hilton.
Ijmuiden (pronouned I'm-ow-den) is a disappointing consolation: the view left from my balcony is fairly attractive, yachts in a packed harbour and the distant sea, thus:
But turn to the right and you'll find several steel plants belching 'steam' (allegedly) and a bizarre network of industrial cranes and a smattering of surely pointless wind turbines - an ecological locking of the stable door in 2007 after the horse bolted pre-WW2.
On the upside, the food is amazing and I've already gained thirty five pounds. I smugly brought only carry-on luggage with me but I fear that my own body may exceed the weight restrictions on the return journey and while my bag might be allowed on the flight, I may have to check myself into the hold. Watch this space.
