Today's questions

1. Why do I want to have cellulite? I know I must want to have cellulite because I never do the one thing guaranteed to help get rid of it: exercise. I have Rodney Yee's Power Yoga DVD sitting in front of me. He is arched in a perfect cobra on the front cover, his muscly toned form a continual humiliating reminder of my own shapeless self. I am turning in to one big bingo wing.

2. Why do I want to remain unemployed? I know that I must want to remain unemployed because the job application I have been trying to complete since this morning stubbornly remains uncompleted, while I have, in the meantime, booked myself up over Christmas with tutoring a-plenty. This is good for my finances in the short-term, but, as I am continually reminding myself, provides little in the way of career progression, and nothing as far as pensions, holiday pay and maternity benefit go. Perhaps my lack of enthusiasm for this job application says more about the job itself than my desire to become employed.

3. Why do I want to remain exhausted? I know that I must want to remain exhausted because, despite being already truly shattered, I seem to be unable to resist filling my diary between now and Christmas with fun event after fun event. And yes, they are all fun, well spotted, so it's not all bad - but I need some down time too. And with all the tutoring I've got booked in (see above if your memory's that short), the next couple of weeks are going to be fairly mental. The 'burning the candle at both ends' metaphor might hold true as long as we're discussing a birthday cake candle that's on its third use and is down to its last few millimetres. That's not to say I'm not looking forward to the rest of Advent, no siree. I just could do with the help of a few power naps and pick-me-ups between now and the big day. It's a whole lotta hassle considering I don't do god. Still, what's life without some merry hypocrisy? Ho ho ho.