Since I've been gone

Clearly I am losing the will to blog. We can discuss what this says about me another time.

I am going to tell you what you've missed in reverse chronological order.

Today I am counting down the hours until I can go to see Aida at the Royal Opera House.

Last night I had a racist French waiter at Les Deux Salons in Covent Garden. This was the conversation:

Waiter: I am afraid we are all out of the chicken on the menu tonight, but we do have a chicken special, it is black leg chicken served with leeks.
Jane: What is the difference between black leg chicken and normal chicken?
Chris: It's just a different type of chicken. Stop being difficult.
Waiter: [Thinks about it...] The black leg chicken he runs faster.
Jane: I think that might be racist.
Waiter: [Nervous giggle.]
Jane: [Grinning] It is! You're racist. I think you should leave before we have you fired.
Chris: Shut up Jane.

You see, it's weird, I've been putting off writing for days, and now that I'm doing it, it's really fun.

On Tuesday I went to see Kevin Eldon at the Soho Theatre - he is a stand-up comedian who was almost exactly 50% funny. I think I might recommend you go see him in about five years when he is a bit better at his job. Don't bother now. If you need to see stand-up comedy now and you want it to be funny, I think there is only one good one: Terry Alderton. Also Daniel Kitson.

Last Sunday evening my choir done a concert innit. We sang Bach and other stuff and it was really good. My life is a wonderfully varied cultural melting pot, sprinkled with croutons of self-doubt and interwoven with noodles of reality TV and a rouille of fake tan.

Last Sunday morning, I went to see David Eagleman speak about neuroscience and ting. He is amazing - I would pass on the pearls of my wisdom but I wrote them down on the handout, and the handout is in my bedroom. I am in my office. I have no memory. Something about there being as many neuron connectors in our brain as there are galaxies in the Milky Way. What was best though was that I got to feel really superior as he used all these anecdotal experiments in his talk to back up his points e.g. the runaway trolley one and the if-you-are-holding-a-cold-drink-you're-more-likely-to-be-grumpy-in-some-measurable-way-than-if-you're-holding-a-hot-drink one. And everyone was laughing in shock at these fascinating stories and I sat there smugly unimpressed, thinking 'I know this already' which is, like, my favourite state EVAH. I was not holding a cold drink.

Last Saturday, Kate and I finished the Capital Ring. It was an amazing achievement and we should be really proud. So we are. We went out to dinner in Highgate to celebrate, and I ate too much greasy food and drank some red wine, and then when I got home I was sick.

Last Friday, I went on a date. I don't want to discuss it, but I feel like I'm lying if I don't mention it.

So there you have it.