Q&A

These questions were emailed to me this morning by my friend from the office, Laura, while I sat at my desk mere feet away from the sender. It being 09:12, I had naturally already finished my day's work, so I answered them for her. Then I thought maybe I could get away with posting my responses online in lieu of a proper blog entry. Let's see if it works.

Were you named after anyone?
Not to my knowledge.

When was the last time you cried?
Friday night and it gave me my first ever nosebleed. God I'm attractive.

Do you like your handwriting?
Depends on the pen. But yes, mostly. Though I wish I wrote with my right hand.

What is your favourite lunch meat?
What is a lunch meat? Are there meats you're not allowed to eat except at lunch time? How awful. I hate to be restricted.

Do you have kids?
Not to my knowledge.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
How ridiculous. It would depend on which other person I was. If I was shy, demure and nervous, then probably not.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Never.

Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes - but not my adenoids.

Would you bungee jump?
Fo sho mo fo - but I'd rather parachute. Am quietly hoping my boyfriend will get me a parachute jump for my 30th. By quietly I mean I've already told him that's what I wanted and he's told me he can no longer get it for me because I've ruined any element of surprise.

What is your favourite cereal?
I couldn't possibly choose just one. Frosties is up there - as is any oaty crunch involving raisins.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Depends how I feel about the shoes. If they are valuable or beloved and on their last laces, then yes. If they're irrelevant, then no.

Do you think you are strong?
In some ways: freakishly. In other ways: pathetic.

What is your favourite ice cream?
Controversially, I'm not really a big fan of ice cream. That's not to say, however, that I couldn't eat it in vast quantities.

What is the first thing you notice about people?
Confidence.

What is your least favourite thing about yourself?
Tendency towards pessemism, insecurity and fattening foodstuffs.

What colour pants and shoes are you wearing?
Did an American write this quiz? If so, black. If not, red, white and black.

What was the last thing you ate?
Healthy cereal with raisins, skimmed milk, orange juice, 12 bitter apricot kernels, 2 Zen tablets for anxiety, 1 P5P complex for healthy blood and skin and mind, 1 Omega 3 fish oil capsule for my brain, 1 multivitamin and 1 Agnus Castus pill for PMT symptoms.

What are you listening to right now?
One trader explaining something about Moscow to another trader.

Favourite smells?
Simon's aftershave - Molton Brown Black Pepper something that I bought him in New York. Garlic and onions frying. Freshly mown lawns. The musty smell in libraries and on the tube. Stale catfood. Maybe not that last one.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
An obsessive PA in Amsterdam, who at any given time is almost always the last person I talked to on the phone.

Favourite sports to watch?
I find it frustrating to watch any sport as I am constantly reminded about my own disappointing fitness levels and total absence of any competitive drive.

Favourite food?
Unanswerable due to insufficient space. Briefly: garlic bread, melted cheese, humous, chocolate, taramasalata, apple sauce, smoked mackerel pate.

Scary movies or happy endings?
Neither.

Last movie you watched?
Pan's Labyrinth.

What colour shirt are you wearing?
How presumptuous of the questioner to think I am definitely wearing a shirt. Although I am, unarguably, wearing a shirt. And it is red and white. (NB: despite both being red and white, I should clarify that my shirt doesn’t match my pants. That would be weird.)

Summer or winter?
What is this 'summer' of which you write? I am unfamiliar with that concept.

Hugs or kisses?
Depends on the person. From Simon: both. From a friend: hugs. From a manky old tramp and/or halitosis sufferer, neither.

Favourite dessert?
Again, so restrictive. I could eat Victoria sponge cakes or doughnuts competitively.

What is on your mouse pad?
My mouse. Idiot.

What did you watch on TV last night?
Twenty minutes of Victoria Beckham house-hunting.

The Rolling Stones or The Beatles?
Stones – I don’t like moss.

What is the farthest you've been from home?
Sydney.

Do you have a special talent?
I am laden with unique gifts.

Where were you born?
Wimbledon.

What book are you reading now?
Don't be absurd – even I can't multi-task that well. I'm not reading. I'm typing.