Along with death and taxes, the one thing you can be certain about is that, like it or not, I am not the first person that will spring into your mind when I say the word 'delicate'. I'm 32 and a half and this morning I used black marker pen to colour in the scuff marks on the front of my leopard print pixie boots, and five minutes ago I went to the bathroom and noticed ladders working their way in both directions down my right leg, one starting from my shoe and travelling up my calf, and another creeping down from underneath my dress, a stalagtight (deliberate) and a stalagmite of white flesh peeping through M&S opaque blackness.
Maybe one day I'll get my act together but I doubt it. I can't wear flesh-coloured tights or stockings because I ladder any dernier under 200 before I've even left the house. On the rare occasion that my outfit demands it, I'll buy one pair of beige tights, safe in the knowledge that I'll never have to wash them as they'll go straight in the bin at the end of the evening. I'll have packed a spare pair in my handbag which will inevitably have to be put on before I've left my front door.
Buttons fall off my coats with ridiculous frequency - train journeys are spent sewing them back on with thread that laughably claims to be unbreakable. I suppose 'very slightly harder to snap than normal thread' wouldn't fit on the sticker. Or perhaps I missed the paranthetic caveat, written in font size minus six, that read 'Unbreakable (if you're a ladybird).' Aw, just had visions of a ladybird tug of war.
OK, this is a bit boring. What else can I tell you? I sang in a concert last night, I didn't embarrass myself in front of my celeb crush, I ate a lot of Harrods mini mince pies, probably a quantity equating to about four actual-sized mince pies, the boy in the flat cap has stopped writing to me for no clear reason other than his lack of a Y chromasome, but despite this I am excited about EVERYTHING and basically sickeningly perky, I'm thinking about skiing and China and Prague and singing more carols on Saturday and Rufus Wainwright and Guy Garvey and hairstyles and TV shows and other people's weddings and yoga and champagne and 2010 and god life's fantastic and I'm so, so lucky to be here.
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