An Unforeseen Delay

With an hour or so to kill between the end of work last night and the start of choir, I deemed that this would be a good time to visit the in-house gymnasium for the commencement of my week’s fitness regime.

Strangely, although I spent exactly the same amount of time on each of the machines as usual, my workout took a fragment longer than expected, and I entered the changing rooms slightly behind schedule. As per my routine, I showered off, towelled myself with my highly-recommended sports towel (dries in seconds, weighs next to nothing even when wet) and then attempted to put on my skirt.

With the benefit of hindsight, it is possible that I was jumping the gun somewhat here. Perhaps I should have known to wait until my skin was perfectly arid rather than merely not-wet. But in the heat of the moment, I naively tried to get dressed – and it was here that I encountered a small hitch.

Still sweating from my vigorous workout, the skirt’s inexpensive lining stuck to my thighs like cement, locked in place and became impossible to pull either up or down. The outer layer of the skirt, attached to the lining with a few threads at the bottom hem, was consequently pulled underneath and up into the dark recesses, exposing the top of my popsocks. Reader, I have rarely looked more glamorous.

When another gym-goer breezed into the changing rooms, I was too humiliated to remain, and shuffled into the next door hand-washing and coiffuring zone. Pretending to blow-dry my hair, I put the hairdryer on its not-cold-enough setting and wafted it in the vicinity of my still-perspiring legs. But of course, in my panic I merely began to sweat even more and the situation did not improve. Eventually I realised that I would have to leave and hope that a few minutes outside the gym environment would assist my internal thermostat to kick into action. And gradually, as I returned to my desk to collect my choir music and various other items, my skirt rearranged itself into its proper place. There’s a lesson in this for all of us and I’m happy to share my wisdom in the most selfless of fashions: the convenience of synthetic fabrics cannot be denied, bar those few occasions when one is both damp and rushing. At those times, a pair of tights or a slip may be of use. Here endeth the lesson.