Volte-face

So just because I'm not self-indulgent enough on this blog, I see from my notes (yes, I have to write things down to tell you Faithful, else I'll forget these precious gems) that I am yet to tell you about a Major Event in my recent past, i.e. I had a filling. In a cavity. In my tooth.

Argh.

I can't write this. It's not what's on my mind and is thus a sham. I don't do shams. Hams: yes. Shams... Not so much. I'll be back when I'm normal. Or, at least, feeling more stable. Uber-Faithful, have no fear: I'm fine. Just having a crisis of confidence, an experience that is highly unpleasant for one so sure of one's own abilities and USPs as I. Feel free to leave messages of support below. Suggested content is something along the lines of:

"O Most Wondrous Jane,

You are, without question, one of the funniest, most intelligent, fearless and talented people on earth. Your life's meniscus is taut with interesting and challenging events. Your existence is massively enviable and I defy anyone to reject the opportunity of spending time in your company. In fact, anyone who did not actively pursue the chance even to stand near you on a tube is of questionable intellect and/or possibly harbours state secrets.

In addition to that, even though I may have ever met you in person, somehow I KNOW that you are an intensely beautiful and sensual being, with a wonderful body and winning smile. Without the lessons and experiences you share in Lost Looking For Fish, my life would be infinitely poorer. In fact, without you, the justification for my existence would wither to the point where I would have to question my motivation for going on. You are a stranger, but you keep me alive. I love you.

Yours always, in deepest admiration,

[insert your name here]"

Don't all rush at once.