Not remotely free wheelin'

Well, that was exciting. The sun came out, the clock struck twelve and I left my office, crossed the road, stuck my new navy key thing in the terminal, extracted the brand new bike (with assistance) and cycled off round the City for ten minutes of fully exhilarating liberation. The brakes worked, the tyres were bouncy, the three gears were efficient and it was a bit like being Kylie as everyone is transfixed by the turquoise and watched agog as I glided by. Or maybe it was my cleavage that they found distracting. Either way, it was fun. It's been three years since I was a regular cyclist - living on the second floor of a building that's a drunken stumble from the nearest tube station doesn't encourage one to buy a bike - and I'd clean forgotten what a fantastic feeling it is. It's not cheap - £45 for a year's access, plus charges every time you use a bike for more than 30 minutes - but if I keep all my journeys under half an hour, the £45 is all I'll pay, and if you compare that with the inflexibility of bike ownership, plus the chances of them being stolen, it's a veritable bargain. As long as it works.

Now we just need to settle on a name. Barclays Cycle Hire is a) too long and b) features the Evil Corporate Sponsor. Thus I also discount Barcycle. Montreal's scheme is called the Bixi, a (what's that word that means when two words are smooshed together? Not enjambment is it. Grrrr.) smooshing of bicycle and taxi. Paris has the Velib (velo plus libre or liberte, not sure, either way: free bikes, or bikes plus liberty. Ca marche.). Some people are suggesting Borisbike, or Borike, but that seems to give Bojo too much credit for an idea that's been in the pipeline since way before he became London mayor. Equally, fan though I am of Mr Livingstone and happy as I am to admit the idea started in his tenancy, he didn't bring it to fruition so I think the Kencycle is a bit more than he deserves. I think something to do with the city will work best. Capcycle (capital bike)? Or does that sound like an ice cream? Londike sounds a bit lesbian but maybe we should grow up. OK, maybe I should grow up.

In unrelated news, last night I saw Toy Story 3 in 3D and didn't cry. Apparently this means I am technically dead. Am enjoying the novelty of being the one who's not emoting for once.