About six weeks ago, something potentially amazing happened to me. It was potentially so amazing that it didn't bear thinking about, since the chances of it moving from an amazing potential occurrence to an amazing actual occurrence were smaller than a fat man's desire for wheatgrass. And, indeed, it did not come to pass. So it was lucky that I didn't get excited when the Halifax accidentally paid over £5000 into my account twice (instead of the once they should have), because I'd be sorely disappointed now that my bank just phoned me up and told me they were giving the money back. Despite my lack of disappointment or outrage, I do feel objectively a bit perturbed. Forty two days, it took Halifax to realise they'd made a mistake. Forty two days. I'd say any person or organisation who takes forty two days to notice they've lost five thousand pounds clearly doesn't deserve it in the first place. But anyway. That's that solved. My control freakery is such that I'm actually slightly happier knowing that I don't have the money than I was when I wasn't sure whether I did or not. Now that is mental and no mistake.
What's also slightly perversely good about today is that the one guy with whom I was halfheartedly ebantering has announced that he is going on a date next week. I am humbly assuming that the date is not with me, since he didn't contact me to agree a night, so once I got over the vague smack of disappointment that he asked someone else for a date but not me, I realised that this means that literally every single one of my possible flirtatious routes has now been blocked off, and I am, after a week of procrastinating, finally actually Doing This Thing. The catchily-monikered Operation Take A Break From Thinking About Men Or Relationships So That You Get Some Perspective And Hopefully Realise That You Are Not A Failure For Not Yet Having Found The Right Guy For You But Are Actually A Roaring Success At This Game Called Life And Don't Let Anybody Tell You Any Different has begun.
Dating dating dating dating dating dating dating dating dating dating dating dating. Gah. Talk about elephant in the room. I wonder what else I'll think about now. Hmmmm. I literally feel like there is tumbleweed in my head. I suppose the idea is not to think about anything. Just enjoy the Now.
Dating dating dating. Stop. Tumbleweed. Whistling wind. Tumbleweed. Dating. Tumbleweed. Whistling wind.
God. Maybe I will have to go to the gym. This really does suck.
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