Question Time

Today's preferred distraction technique is a site called Yahoo! Answers, where anyone can log in, post a random question and have it answered by the great and good Yahoo! users across the stratosphere. I got involved when I had a question about income tax brackets in the UK - and within minutes had received a brilliant link to a website that calculates how much you'll earn per month after tax, depending on your salary.

A week later I asked about the wafty music that accompanies the Odeon cinema ad - and a nice young man not only identified the music (a one minute track called Blue that was written specifically for Odeon by someone called Nick Ryan) but made an .mp3 from a recording and sent me the link. Über-helpful.

Yahoo! Answers uses a points system, whereby you lose five points for asking questions (as it is SELFISH) and gain two points for answering one. The ultimate accolade is for your answer to be awarded Best Answer by the question's asker. This happened to me a few days ago, when my answer to the question 'Is happiness a choice?' was chosen as Best Answer, and consequently Yahoo! rewarded me with ten extra points.

The burst of self-satisfaction that I had been recognised by the online community has led to a flurry of new answers. Just this afternoon, as I wait to hear back from the City job people, I have contributed a further ten responses, gaining me twenty points. I correctly identified Seal's 'Future Love Paradise' from its opening lyrics and was able to put Lizangel out of her misery - but unfortunately around thirty other Answerers were every bit as enthusiastic and I fear that my speedy response won't be speedy enough to win the prize. In retrospect, pasting the full lyrics into my answer directly (as both Ron and Second Class did in theirs) would have been more impressive than pasting in a link to a relevant site, but I'll put that down as a rookie error. I have also responded to 'Does it make you feel superior to American-bash?' and 'Fat, violent, ignorant: the stats are not looking good for the UK. How can we change this for the better?'.

With 144 points, I thought I was doing well. Fool. When I clicked on the link to the Answers Leaderboard, everything changed. There at the top was Huggz, who has only been a member of the site since 10 September 2006, and yet has managed to answer 15,415 questions, with 52% of these being chosen as Best Answer, accruing a total of 138,748 points. Second on the list is Crystal, who is absurdly prolific but clearly not as helpful: she's answered a whopping 23,565 questions since 19 June 2006, almost ten thousand more than Huggz, but only 21% of these have been given the Best Answer accolade and her points score has taken a battering as a result. However, with a current total of 138,240, she's fast catching up with Huggz and their gripping battle for Yahoo! Answers Supremacy is nail-biting.

I see from the Leaderboard that Crystal has shot herself in the foot somewhat by greedily asking 98 questions herself, thus losing herself valuable points - whereas the more focussed Huggz has only weakened eight times. What, I wondered, did Huggz, who knows the answer to over 15 thousand questions, need to know? I clicked on his/her profile and discovered a recently-diagnosed diabetic with a fondness for skinny dogs and spiders:

Huggz' Eight Questions:

1. Sugar free christmas cake....?
2. How do i contact cutomer services at yahoo (UK)?
3. For type 2 diabetics on medication...?
4. Will you help end greyhound slaughter?
5. I have a Freeview box plugged into my TV.?
6. Does anyone know a web based spider forum, site or club?
7. Why are buttons on different sides for men and women?
8. Does anyone know where I can buy clown loaches at a reasonable price?
   

With a plotline like this, who needs Neighbours?