Blimey. I'm hesitant to write about this, but... hey, after two years of spilling my guts online for international amusement and wincing, why come over all shy and coquettish now, eh?
I went on a date last night. And although he was really nice, clever and funny, and he was easily recognisable from the photos he'd posted on the internet where I met him - sadly, there was a reason the photos were only headshots. Reader, he was on the large side.
I tried not to be judgmental. After all, I am not the world's slimmest person, and I am fully aware of the hypocrisy of coming across as fattist. Once we'd greeted each other in the pub and taken a seat, I thought that maybe I'd been unfair. But no, when he leapt up to get us another drink after half an hour, and lightly galloped over to the bar in that curiously balletic manner that very large people often possess, I realised that I would never be able to find him attractive. He wasn't just 'I like the odd high-calorie meal and a few pints every now and then' fat - he was 'I couldn't run for a bus without risking hospitalisation' fat. And, nice though he was, there is just no way I could ever respect or fancy someone who took so little care of their own health and appearance.
He texted me when I got home, to say that he'd like to see me again, and I emailed him this morning to say that I just hadn't felt The Spark, that I was sorry and that I wished him all the best. There are those who think I should have come clean and told him the truth, for his own good, but I am too cowardly for that confrontation.
So, back to the drawing board! It's another stunning day in this most wonderful of cities, apparently the last for a while, and I am sitting on my sofa with the sun pouring in through my window, listening to Radio 4 and feeling extremely happy to be alive. And not that fat.
ok, reverse the situation. he meets you..your as fat as a whale and wrote all that about you. some how you get to read it...how would you feel? i bet your no gods gift to man yourself woman so get over yourself a bit...
ReplyDeletei bet all your "international" readers are thinking your a bit rude as you've probably offended a majority of the world's people who are unfortuneatly on the heavier side....
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteYou're right, I'm not god's gift to man - as I have repeatedly stated over two years on this blog. I'm not the slimmest person myself - and if you'd even read the rest of the post on which you commented, you'd know that.
If the situations were reversed, I was fat, fat, fat as a whale and had been out with a slimmer guy, come home and found this post online, I'd feel a bit shit. But hey - sometimes the truth hurts. In this scenario, I would be facing up to something unpleasant - my weight, and the fact that someone didn't fancy me as a result. Harsh, but that's life.
Ultimately, I judged this guy on his weight, just as any guy has a right to judge me on mine - or any of my other characteristics, for that matter. I went on a date last night with a different guy - I'd love it if he wanted to meet up again, but if he decides he'd rather go out with someone else, that's his right.
I'm afraid I just didn't fancy this guy - and yes, it was mostly because of his weight. That may make me shallow or cruel in your eyes - but I don't think I'm either. This guy was unhealthily overweight and not mentioning that would be like (unfortunately) the elephant in the room.
Regardless, I appreciate your comment and I'm sorry if I offended you personally but I think if you take some time to read other parts of my blog, you'll realise that I'm in no way over-confident about my own appearance.