All play and no work makes Jane a... worse than average employee?

Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. Why do I insist on doing this to myself? I have such good intentions to be boring and sensible and then I start having fun and I just can't stop. Last night I went out to see Simon Amstell do stand-up at the Shepherd's Bush Empire and I laughed so much I actually pulled one of the muscles around my left ribcage. Towards the beginning of the set, as I let an enthusiastic 'haha' escape from my lungs, the guy sitting on my left loudly said, 'Shhh!' 'You're kidding,' I thought. I'm getting shushed for laughing at a comedy show? No way. Then a few moments later, he did it again when I wasn't even making a sound. And I realised that was his laugh. 'Shhh!' he went, every few seconds, like a steam train pulling away from a station. It was really quite disconcerting, but I got used to it eventually.

My favourite moment was when Simon said that playing hard to get was ridiculous and compared it to walking into a supermarket and thinking, 'Hmmm, I really feel like a potato tonight - I better not look at the potatoes in case they realise I'm interested.' I do think it's different for boys though. As girls, we really are told time and time again not to make the first move. Boys do like the chase. It's fine. I'm used to it. (She says, drumming her fingers impatiently, waking her phone up from sleep mode to check for texts, refreshing her Gmail every six seconds, tearing her hair out, not sleeping).

Then we went back to Grania's with a third musketeer and danced on the table and took a zillion photos and did diabolo and discussed sex and religion and all those other good things until we finally went to bed at half past three, when I listened to Bounce Out of Bed. Needless to say, I was about as bouncy as a car park when my alarm went off at 7.45 this morning but somehow made it to my desk on time and am very much looking forward to this evening, when Donald is coming over and the very most I expect to do is go to the cinema. Thankfully my boss is on holiday so my usually unmanageable workload has been reduced substantially. Tick tock tick tock.

In good news, my guy has dropped one place on the popular list. In bad news, he has been on the site almost constantly today. Hangovers are not good for my paranoia levels. Nor, let's face it, is online dating. I'm not renewing my subscription. For now.