Overconnected?

Ways I Know I'm Old, Part 32: The way that my carpet slightly lifted up from my underlay due to the supreme suction created by my hoover once I'd put in a new bag made me go, "Ooooh!"

Last night, I got home, put on a pair of very fitted, grey Nike tracksuit bottoms that belonged to my mum in the eighties, and an oversized grey sweatshirt featuring a large picture of Mickey Mouse. I put my hair in a topknot, slid into my FitFlops, and cleaned my flat. I emptied the bins, I did the washing up, I did three loads of washing, I watered and pruned my plants, I plumped my sofa cushions, changed my sheets and vacuumed my floors. I also kind of tidied my V+ box, watching lots of month-old TV programmes, mostly on fast forward, while I scurried about. I ate my guilty home alone meal of microwave wholegrain rice, fried onion, tuna and mayo, drank two glasses of white wine, had a mini Magnum and received a couple of fun emails. Then I went to bed and nearly finished Prospect magazine. All in all, it was a brilliant night, accompanied by a Genius mix which started with my choice of Work by Kelly Rowland, and went via Play by JLo, Tears Dry On Their Own by Amy Winehouse, Superstar by Jamelia, My Love Is Like Wo! by Mya and Chain Reaction by Diana Ross. Pig in shit. Genius really is genius.

I do worry a bit about my obsessive love of technology though. The internet and its associated facilities affect the way I find out about news, the way I communicate with my friends and family, the way I cope with boredom at work, the way I find out about what fun stuff is going on in my city (and thus it directly impacts what I do in my spare time), it's the way I find out about new films and new dates and new music... I was standing in the shower yesterday, thinking that if someone threatened me with never being able to go online again, I would swap almost anything. Including possibly a limb. Any amputees out there will probably spit with rage at that, but I don't mean it flippantly. I am aware, though, that my perspectives might be slightly skewed, so (in an instance of fighting fire with fire) I downloaded an app to my iPhone called 'Disconnect', a hypnotherapy programme that is meant to make you less reliant on technology. I listened to it last night and although it didn't seem to be remotely profound at the time, I haven't checked Twitter today. Or Texts From Last Night. Hmmm. Maybe after a couple more listens I'll give up LLFF. Be a shame though. You'll be the first to know.