I know it's terrible to say, but I'm not a massive fan of the Dutch, for several reasons. In no way do I think I'm better than them, it's just that we're different and so we tend to rub each other up the wrong way. One thing I love, however, is that when they email you, their shortened form of 'Kind regards' (where we might write 'Rgds') is 'Gr'. Every now and then, I get a very polite message from one of my Dutch colleagues, which ends, as below, in a cute little growl.
I thank you for your time and wish you a happy weekend.
Gr,
Thea
It always makes me very happy.
In other news, last night I went on a date with a guy from the website. I wasn't convinced about him from his emails and it's safe to say I was singularly unbutterfly-ey about him, but then he texted before our meeting time to ask if I'd rather meet him at the restaurant or at the tube, which I thought was slighly gallant and I determined to give him the benefit of the doubt. I met him at the restaurant, we kissed hello and sat down. Then he started to talk. My brain knew that something was awry but couldn't immediately calculate quite what it was. His accent was unusual. And so I asked him.
"What's that accent? I don't recognise it."
"OK, well, I'm clearly not English, as it says in my profile," he said. "Nor is English my first language. I was born in Holland and grew up in Germany. And I've lived in London for ten years."
"Why did you lie?"
"Because I get better matching scores with people if I say I'm English."
"Well, I'd get better matching scores with people if I said my body type was slim. Them's the breaks."
By this point, the waiter had taken our drinks order, but then I told him I wouldn't be ordering any food. Once again, I know my mother will say I'm being too picky, but as I explained to him, I don't give a flying lemur whether he's from the UK or the Ukraine but I do have a massive problem with lying. As far as I'm concerned, trust and honesty are the bedrock of any relationship. He'd successfully pulled the wool over my eyes about this. What else was he prepared to disguise to get me into bed? Sure, we all omit certain key pieces of information. I might not tell a first date that I'm quite keen on having children in the next few years, or that one of my boobs is a bit bigger than the other, or that I'm on anti-depressant medication. But if he asked me outright, I wouldn't lie. And I would not - and do not - say anything in my online profile that is dishonest. The guy last night, he lied to me. And for that reason, we had a nice chat about nothing for twenty minutes, and then I stood up, left the restaurant and went home to my sofa.
OBVIOUSLY if I'd fancied him I would have let the whole lying thing go.
As you know the "Gr" stands for "Groeten", literally meaning "Greetings" but it's only one letter away from "groenten" which means vegetables so for ages I was confused as to why people were wishing each other "kind vegetables", or "vegetables to your family" thought it was some quaint Dutch thing....images of gifts of courgettes and the like.......
ReplyDeleteYou know what? I can understand where he was coming from (you know, being Dutch and all ;-) but that doesnt make it right. I guess we ('we' as in people who have a profile on a dating website) are all 'guilty' of writing our profiles in such a way they are showing of our positives and 'forgetting' about the less attractive parts of our personality so to say. At one point I checked how much difference it makes when you put English as a first language, and I will tell you, it is pretty big. it feels wrong that people dismiss you based on the language you speak. Then again, why would you want to date anyone who would dismiss someone based on something like that?
ReplyDeleteGr. Kim :-)
Hilarious insight re. the vegetables, I love it.
ReplyDeleteAnd Kim, your post did make me feel a bit sad, but as you say, if someone's going to not fancy you because you have an accent and tend to spell exciting without the 'c' then that's their loss! ;-)
I have probably said on my profile that I would like to meet someone who has English as a first language, but I've also said I want them to be between 30-35 and over 6 foot. I've already been on a date with a 5'10" guy who was 28 and a 36 year old who was German. What people put as their categories doesn't mean they won't stray outside them. Don't lose heart. Hang in there. xx
Jane, you rock. I like to think I would have told him to shove it after 20 minutes but I'd probably have ended up staying for dinner...Sooooooooooo weak.
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks Anonymous! It was extremely tempting to stay for dinner as the food looked and smelled freaking delicious. Ended up having Coco Pops at home. That's what you get for standing up for your principles!
ReplyDeleteI really like Dutch people. They are probably my favourite nationality.
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