Tube hook-up

Despite being the World's Illest Person, I went out last night, because I thought I might go insane if I didn't. Unexpectedly, however, almost my favourite part of the evening happened before I even reached my destination. I was leaving a packed tube at Angel and even given my svelte, streamlined silhouette, I had to work quite hard to force my way through the carriage. As I stepped down onto the platform, I felt a strange tightening sensation around my neck. I looked down. Brilliantly, a thread of my hot pink, chunky-knit snood had become caught in the zip of a woman's coat who was remaining on board the train. There was a bright loop of wool, approximately two feet in length, connecting the two of us and I can tell you for nothing that she was not at all happy about it. I started giggling compulsively as she tried to unhook me, the doors threatening to shut at any moment. I ran through my options and realised that, in the event of all separation attempts failing, I would have to jettison the snood. The thought of it dangling from the train as it pulled away made me laugh even more. Meanwhile, the coat lady was still having a massive sense of humour failure, huffing to a point where I thought she might combust, so I reached in and took over, and miraculously, just as the doors started beeping, I freed myself. It was a fashion miracle. I skipped down the platform enjoying my emancipation, briefly forgetting that I am going through minor hell at the moment, what with the illness and other assorted trials and tribulations.

Then I spent an hour in my favourite secret cafe, drinking tea and reading Prospect, before schlepping through the driving rain to Le Mercury where I met Sara and Grania, who broke down my aggressively defensive mood, got me drunk and made me laugh. Then we went to the South East heats of the 2010 beatboxing contest and the same motherfucking compere was there as last time, just as fat and unpleasant and wearing some absurd houndstooth checked muu-muu, from what I could determine. After the winner had been announced, he told us all to "go to the bar and get some fucking drinks down you so you won't notice when I feel you up later." Charmed, I'm sure.