Almost famous

I have a dirty secret and it is as follows: I am literally thrilled to be back at work. It's not that I've missed the people in particular, although it's really nice to be emailing Chris and Laura with warp-speed frequency once again. It's more that I have a role here, I'm needed, and that feels nice. Doubt it'll last long but there you have it. I am a grateful hamster, running in my little wheel and scampering over to my water bottle every now and then to lick the little silver nozzle that's sticking through the bars of my cage. Maybe later I'll go to bed in some newspaper.

There's been a funny hashtag on Twitter today, #lametofame, where people list their most spurious brushes with celebrity. Due to my past life as a pop journo, I have more than I can count, but those would be cheating. So, magazine life aside, here are a few of my non-working highlights:

• I have Rod, Jane and Freddy from Rainbow's autographs
• The house I used to live in (with my parents) had previously belonged to Michael Ball's ex-girlfriend
• I once saw Graham Norton in the Covent Garden branch of Pret a Manger, but he was too far away for me to see what sandwich he was buying
• My dad once played golf with Mark Knopfler
• I was so gripped talking to Jonathan Phang, ex-judge of Britain's Next Top Model, at my friend's wedding that I set fire to the shawl I'd borrowed without asking my mother on an exposed tealight
• Kirsty Young admitted to me that she fancied Sting a lot while we were in a portaloo. Sting was also at the party - it wasn't a propos of nothing, that would have been really full on
• At the same party I danced with Sting to Dr. Alban's It's My Life, a song known at the time for its use in a Tampax ad
  
• I stayed in the same hotel as Amanda Holden when I went to Cuba and she took a photograph of a stone column with my camera. 'Stone column' is not a euphemism
  
• I saw David Gest in El Pirata in Mayfair
• When I was about 12, my dog ran away near the Thames, and Nigel Havers helped us find him
• I once spent New Year in the same pub as Sally from Home & Away and she kissed me (and everyone else in the room) on the cheek at midnight
• I shared a lift in Los Angeles with Jon Bon Jovi and Matthew McConaughey or however you spell it. At the same time. Both of them were shorter than me
• I deliberately blanked Lisa Snowdon at a party once because I don't like her. I bet she was gutted
• I served Gwyneth Paltrow a canapé when I was waitressing at a film premiere
• Chesney Hawkes pinched my bum. We were in a pub and I was 18. There is a chance that he didn't so much pinch it as accidentally brush it while we were at the bar waiting to be served. But I've told the pinching story so many times that it has become true

That's all I can think of for now although this is definitely going to be one of those things where I remember more the moment I put it live. Still, fun though it is, I'd rather go home. So I'm gonna. A demain.