And so it begins...

Conspiracy theory of today: could it be that clothing manufacturers deliberately plaster their office garments in labels, unnecessary blanket stitching in a contrasting colour and/or spare buttons in handy miniature envelopes so that those most likely to be wearing a new suit – new employees – are likely to miss one or more of these unwanted add-ons and wander straight into an embarrassing first day office gaffe? Fortunately, thanks to my eagle eyes, I was spared such humiliation, but it did strike me as slightly absurd that I had to cut at least seven separate items off my suit jacket yesterday. And thank goodness I had the foresight to deal with this issue in advance – had I left it to my bleary-eyed self at 7am this morning after a night’s sleep that can at best be described as laughable, I have no doubt that I would have arrived at my enrolment with the back vents of my jacket still stitched, consigning me to a day of finger pointing and a lifetime of anecdotes.

Day One at the new place has been interesting and big thumbs up have been awarded a) to the private little glass-walled office which will be my daytime home for the foreseeable future; b) to the subsidised canteen which seems more than adequate; and c) to my predecessor who left a packet of Fox’s Chocolate Creams in my second drawer. Now I’m off to my book club where my main focus will be to avoid turning up to Day Two with a stinging hangover. I am not optimistic.