Time Off: The Real Story

I was offered my new job on Friday 23rd February and was given to understand that, subject to a few forms being filled in and a few references being checked, I would start about 10 days later on Monday, the 5th March.

It is now Monday, the 5th March and I am not at work. As is always the case in these matters, things are never as simple as they should be - my contract was delayed and my frenetic employment history means that the necessary checks will probably take longer than expected. Towards the end of last week it was clear that I would not be starting for a little longer - probably not until Monday, the 12th March.

I am, therefore, in an odd hiatus period, where I am 99% employed, with nothing to do for a week. With the spectre of full-time employment looming large on the horizon, I should be blowing on the dying embers of my freedom, desperate to warm myself from their final seconds of existence. But to my surprise, I have lost the energy to lead a fulfilling life and am, flatly, bored out of my mind. I would far rather be working than sitting here for another nanosecond. Sure - London is oozing with things I should be doing to expand my mind or awaken my deadened senses: there are exhibitions to take in, films to see, lectures to attend - but I have neither the will nor the funds, nor even the feintest desire to leave the comfort of my reclining armchair and footstool arrangement.

I am just as aware as the next person that, come next week or next month, I will look back on these blank hours and barren days with putrid envy, spitting with rage at my own lethargy and horrified that I didn't spend my job-free time more fruitfully. But for now, the evidence is plain for all to see: I am here, at home, with no plans and no energy, and I see little likelihood of this situation altering until I'm allowed to start my job. It's all deeply unflattering and I do wonder why I'm choosing to advertise this disgusting torpor to the online community - it's almost certainly something to do with the fact that this is one activity I can carry out while remaining almost entirely inert.