Nor, however, does it necessarily equal bad news. In this particular case, no news means, oddly, no news.
I have started my job. I’ve been here over a fortnight. I am learning a lot of things. And although the process of learning anything is, in itself, stimulating and satisfying, once the learning has occurred, one is just left with the ability to do something new. This would be ideal if a particular ability challenged my brain or imbued me with self-satisfaction. But sadly, of the myriad new skills I have acquired, it is safe to say that the number of those which captivate me is precisely zero. In fact, it may be more accurate to say that nothing I have done here would be of any interest whatsoever to anyone at all. The jobs I have to carry out are so mundane in nature that when I have tried to enlighten well-meaning friends and family members about my day’s tasks, I have induced narcoleptic attacks in both listeners and speaker.
I am bored. I’m so bored I have taken to poring over my own junk mail. Each five minute chunk of today has been noted as I have been sitting at my desk. And unexpectedly, being paid very well to be bored neither disguises nor removes the unpleasantness of the experience. I am utterly unstimulated and it is making me hate myself.
That said, there is a chance that I may be given new responsibilities in a couple of weeks. This carrot is just enough to keep me with my feet under the desk for the time being. Those concerned acquaintances who have long worried about me during my freelance years, those who greeted my announcement of full-time employment with barely-concealed tears of relief and joy, will be terrified that I might ‘do something stupid’ and jack it all in – but they’ll just have to wait and see what happens. As will I. But for now, honestly, there’s no news.
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