At 09:34 this morning I had finished all the work I could do for today. Since then I have been creating absurdly unnecessary jobs for myself in order to pass the time and pouncing on the phone when it rings so that I look as though I have a role, even though I am clearly superfluous and will be for as long as my boss is out of the office.
This afternoon I have stopped attempting to appear engaged with my work, since it must be obvious to all that I have none. Instead, in a brief moment of bravery, I strolled off the company intranet and onto eBay, to see if a second-hand coat I’ve been watching has spiralled out of affordability. Quickly, I fell into the lulling vortex that I so often experience when I’m on eBay – hours, possibly days, can go by while I scroll, as one possessed, through the world’s rejected clothing and accessories.
Today, however, I tangentised in a way that shocked even myself. Seeing that my coat-elect was still under £10, I absent-mindedly clicked on another of the seller’s items that attracted my attention. It was a few seconds too many before I realised what it was I was contemplating. All at once my self-awareness returned with a surge and I became aware that I was regarding a large selection of vintage wedding dresses.
As the bare and, I like to think, still youthful ring finger of my precious left hand will attest, I am not engaged. Nor am I in any hurry to become a fiancée. Clearly my boredom is plumbing new depths and forcing me to take refuge in embarrassing daydreaming that suggests a wholly-incorrect discontentedness with my current unwed status. I need distractions. The weekend begins in zero minus 91 minutes.
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