Blog-writer Jane in acerbic anti-celeb culture rant

Really, I should probably accept that I hate the existing free London papers and stop going on about them. But last night, the front page of ‘thelondonpaper’ took my breath away. And not in a good way.

The principal headline is probably excusable, although I could take issue with it if required. In truth, the area to which I wanted to draw attention was the banner above the headline. Two stories are flagged up with a blue background, one with red. The red story concerns sport, while the two blue stories are purportedly news. And in the opinion of the paper’s editor, what are the two most attention-grabbing stories in the entire paper, after those on the front page? Well, we have the revelation that sunglasses are ‘Hot, even in winter’, illustrated by a picture of Nicole Ritchie sporting a pair of oversized frames that look like remedial ones Harry Potter might wear if he had conjunctivitis. We are informed that we can read more about this gripping story on page eight, but effectively, it seems that the breaking news is: celebrities wear sunglasses all year round! Allow me to catch my breath.

But even that nugget wasn’t the most jaw-dropping page element. What made me really squirm was the story on the left-hand side of the banner. It reads: ‘BB’s Charley in amazing club brawl’ and even typing it makes me feel nauseated. Firstly, if you have to preface a supposed celeb with their origin, they’re not famous enough for the front page. Headlines featuring real celebs don’t read ‘The Royal Family’s Queen in Corgi chaos’, ‘Popstar Britney watches Corrie’ or ‘Football’s David Beckham spells word correctly’. These people don’t need explanations; but one of the ‘characters’ from this summer’s series of Big Brother, Charley, absolutely does – and for this reason, she shouldn’t be flagged up on page one in the first place.

However, I might forgive this editorial error if Charley’s news had been of remote importance or interest to the wider public. Clearly, it is no small task to make a value judgement about what the public view – or should view – as important or of interest. But this is the job of an editor. And the editor of thelondonpaper has decided that a young girl having a fight outside a nightclub is not only newsworthy, not only front-page news, but should be described using the word ‘amazing’ – a word meaning ‘surprising greatly; inspiring awe or admiration or wonder’. Does the editor seriously want to imply that bitch fighting is worthy of awe? I have a big problem with that use of adjective.

I also have a big problem with celebrity journalism but as long as it’s treated as vapid rubbish, I can swallow my rage. It’s when it is dressed up as news that I get worried. If you believe that the papers are merely reporting what people want to read, then you believe the editor is blamelessly doing his job. But I believe that the media – and perhaps the free press in particular – have more of a duty to their readers than that. I know there will always be celebs and there will always be people who are interested in their lives. But celeb culture is only one way of living and if London’s free press choose to promote BB’s Charley and sunglasses instead of, for example, the scary situation between the Turks and the Kurds or the search for a new LibDem leader then, not for the first time, I fear for future generations. Blimey, it’s exhausting being serious.