Low ebb

It is no secret that I'm a fraction under-stimulated at work. But last night, when my parents asked me to write a letter for them during my inevitable downtime, I knew I'd reached new lows. In my heart of hearts, I hoped that today would throw up some kind of distraction and that I would be too busy to sink to this - but no. It's not even lunchtime and I have already had so little to do that the parental chore was unavoidable. I hope you, The Faithful, will feel my pain:

Tesco Customer Service
PO Box 73
Baird Avenue
Dryburgh Industrial Estate
Dundee
DD1 9NF

16 October 2007

Dear Sir / Madam,

Please find enclosed an empty packet of Tesco sultanas and the rock / pebble that my father found within it last night. Sadly he did not spot the offending pebble on its way to his mouth, but only became aware of its presence among the sultanas when he crunched down on it, very nearly breaking one or more of his teeth.

In your defence, the offending stone does very closely resemble a sultana in appearance – but rest assured, in texture and solidity, the two items are most certainly poles apart.

As you will understand, this was an unpleasant moment for my father and he is keen that your system of sultana collection is perhaps revisited so that this situation will be less likely to occur in future.

In the meantime, I’m sure you will understand if we are slightly reticent to purchase sultanas, or indeed any other dried fruit produce, from Tesco’s in the near future.

Kind regards...
Enc.