Sweating: the new glowing

Had you walked past me while I was cruising on the cross trainer this morning, you would have been forgiven for thinking that I was competing in some sort of personal indoor triathlon and had recently finished the swimming portion of the event, only to run, fully clothed and drenched, onto the next part of the circuit.

Fans of this blog will have had to come to terms with the fact that my epidermis has never been content with merely perspiring in a gentle and ladylike fashion. But although I am well aware that sweating isn’t high up on the list of things men find attractive in the opposite sex, I also know that the action in itself is valuable, detoxifying and vitally, that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So, gradually I’ve learned to live with it.

Some might say I am now over-comfortable with it, however. At an evening gathering not too long ago, I was standing in a group of several individuals, one of whom mentioned that he tended to sweat profusely when exercising. Of course, my immediate reaction was to retch and thank my lucky stars that I wasn’t standing any closer to him. But after a couple of seconds, I admonished myself for such a selfish reflex and tried to empathise – after all, as another of life’s sweaters, I know how he feels. A few minutes later, the conversation turned to climbing walls and, spotting an opportunity to make our damp friend feel more at ease with his own moisture, I mentioned that I would always be worried that, since I too have been known to sweat, especially when nervous, my hands would be slippery and I’d fall. Expecting a look of gratitude and a feeling that we were now kindred spirits, I was shocked when he said,
“Gross, that’s not very feminine is it, talking about sweating?” as he looked around for confirmation from the group’s other lads. Livid that my attempts to support him had been so brutally rebuffed, I looked him in the eye and said,
“Believe me, if I had the slightest interest in impressing you, I wouldn’t have said it.” Which shut him up and created a slightly awkward moment among the rest of our assembled number. It was worth it though. And who still says ‘gross’ anyway?