Sign of the times

Since 10 Downing Street started allowing online petitions to give the public the (clearly idiotic) sensation that they have a voice, I have only signed one - about motorcycle parking in London. I didn't follow the results too closely as my Vespa was 'incapacitated' shortly afterwards and my interest in the subject plummeted accordingly. But a few minutes ago, I signed my second, which is headed 'We, the undersigned, petition the Prime Minister to create a new public holiday, the National Remembrance Holiday, to commemorate The Fallen and our Nation, with the holiday falling on the second Monday in November each year, the day after Remembrance Sunday.' Now, I think Remembrance Sunday is a very important day but I'll admit that I would have endorsed any petition campaigning for a new public holiday, regardless of the premise. A day off work to think about astrophysics or Postman Pat, I'm not fussed, show me where to sign.

Having put my name on the list, I then was tempted to look at the other issues that are attracting the Great British Public's attention at present. Our new Bank Holiday request was second on the list of most popular petitions, with 91,097 signatures. But way in the lead, with a surprising 241,784 names, is the group who are petitioning the Prime Minister to 'allow the Red Arrows to fly at the 2012 Olympics'. Seriously? A possible aerobatics display which won't take place for five years is the most pressing issue for Brits today? And getting more time off work is the second most urgent topic? Not the decaying NHS, the environment, George Bush or phonics?

Also in the top 10 were petitions about student loan repayments, police pay, engineers, the EU constitution, congestion charging and an inevitable whacky request to make Jeremy Clarkson Prime Minister. Out of 8721 petitions, bottom of the list with only one signature was one to give Alan Rickman a knighthood, with a campaign to 'create slow and fast lanes on pavements in city centres during busy periods of the year' next up. As a window into the concerns of modern Britain, it has to be fairly conclusive. And if this is modern Britain, I'm emigrating.