Msery

Apologies for delay. Something's rotten in the state of Janemark. Am working on it though.

Meanwhile...

I am a feminist. I believe that women and men are equal (but different) and should be treated as such. Taken to its logical conclusions, such beliefs can upset people. They can even upset me, from time to time. For example, I really don't approve of engagement rings. Why should I be tagged as 'taken' when the boy is still gallivanting around, ring-free? But then, if I stick to my guns on this one, I don't get a pretty piece of jewellery. Which would be sad. Then again, being anti-engagement-rings on principle might not be the only reason I don't get one. Hmmm.

Changing my name, and thus my identity, after marriage is another one. I actually like my surname. Plus I am the last in a bloodline, an only girl, and that feels a bit sad. Then again, I do like the idea of sharing a name with my husband. I just don't see why it should be his. My only solution is that both people, upon entering into a marriage, choose a new surname. I'd go for Awesome. Jane Awesome. Has a certain humble charm to it, I think.

Anyway, in a similar vein, I freaking HATE the Miss/Mrs/Ms situation and it's been getting more and more irritating as my life's gone on. Why on earth should someone who doesn't know me be able to tell whether I'm married or not from my NAME?! It is so outrageous that I can't believe it still happens. My own name, every letter I receive, indicates that I'm unmarried. Every time I'm cold-called, every time I have to tell people my title, they find out my current relationship status. No wonder we all feel like branded failures if we're single.

Of course, for those who want to opt out, there is Ms. And Ms is the least good alternative to anything ever. Worse than margerine for butter. Worse than Diet Coke for Coke. Worse than fruit for a Chicken Royale. For a start, no one knows how to say it. Whenever I try and pronounce it, I end up feeling like I've lost the ability to make vowel sounds. And the person on the end of the phone always double checks, as if I've just said that my name is Vagina, so I have to go through the humiliation a second time. Secondly, for all that it was created as a relationship-status-neutral term, it is not remotely devoid of associations. If you call yourself Ms, you're basically saying 'I'm in my mid-thirties, unmarried, and livid about it.' Of course, there may be some married women, or happily single women, who still choose to use Ms. But I bet they are few and far between. Grumble grumble grumble. No alternative. Only thing for me to do is rant about it here. Grumble grumble grumble. God I wish it would stop raining.