[insert headline other than 'A Spot of Bother' here]

You know that I must be going on a date with someone I either quite like or quite like the sound of, when I become liberally sprinkled with spots. The highlight of these is a corker right below my left eyebrow, which was agony yesterday morning. I tried to be grown up and leave it alone, but then gave in to temptation after yesterday's gym session and attempted to go in for the kill by squeezing it. The Failed Squeeze: surely the most irritating act in personal hygiene, serving only to make the area more red, more angry, more painful and more likely to create issues requiring a trip to A&E. Following this disappointment, I took the only course open to me - the Vigorous Squash, where I tried to dissipate the bulk of the matter with firm rubbing. This appeared to work temporarily, but I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror to find that the area around my eye had been inflated by some mean bicycle-pump-wielding fairies while I slept, so that I now have difficulty opening it fully, and any sort of unexpected eyebrow raises that happen when I inadvertently indicate enthusiasm are now followed by a dramatic wince. I now look as though I'm doing a suspicious face at all times. There are 26 hours until I meet the guy. I can only hope that things improve a fraction before then.