Some things I know

I know that it’ll happen when it happens.
I know that when it’s right, I’ll know.
I know that you can’t look for it.
I know that it will be when I least expect it.
I know that I’m a catch and that he’ll be lucky to have me.
I know that it’s not about the length of my hair, or the size of my thighs, or how long I wait before I text him back.
I know that there’s a guy out there - a good, handsome guy - who’ll think I’m a knockout.
I know that there are plenty more fish in the sea.
I know that in a few years time, I’ll look back on all this and laugh.
I know that everything happens for a reason.
I know that I’m not a failure.
I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.
I know that 32 really isn't that old.
I know that wanting to find love is the surest way to guarantee you won't.
I know that dwelling on this stuff isn't helpful.
I know that I have a wonderful life.
I know that I don't need a man to experience true happiness.
I know that none of my real friends think any less of me because I’m single.
I know that they don’t judge me as harshly as I judge myself.
I know that I just haven’t met the right guy yet.
I know that I have to kiss a lot of frogs before I meet my prince.
I know that relationships aren’t the be all and end all.
I know that, in the end, we’re all alone.

But I also know that, sometimes, I sit on the tube home with strangers all around me, and I look down at my right hand, at the diamond band I wear, the one my mother gave me all those years ago, and I think about taking it off and putting it on the ring finger of my left hand, and I think about how, just for a moment, even though I don't really even agree with engagement rings, it would be such a flooding, overwhelming relief to be able to show all those people around me, all these people I’ve never seen before and will never see again, that someone once asked me if they could spend the rest of their life with me, and that I said yes.