Next time I give blood at around 3.45 or 4pm and they tell me smilingly that I shouldn't consume alcohol for at least six hours, can someone please just pop up and, in a totally unannoying way, gently suggest that, as employees of the NATIONAL BLOOD DONATION organisation, they may actually know what they are talking about? Yesterday afternoon, as the nice South African lady passed on her regulation list of things not to do shortly after a donation, I laughed jovially and said, 'I'm afraid that won't be possible!' and she said, 'Oh well, just watch yourself as you may get drunk a little quicker than normal,' and I said, 'Hahahaha, no problem!' and then I had Em and Ses over for dinner, and sucked up glass after glass of white, thinking all along, 'That woman didn't know what she was talking about, I'm hard as nails, this isn't affecting me!' and then woke up today feeling like I had been on a three day bender with Jim Belushi.
Still, I gave blood and that's the main thing. [Cue sound of wild applause].
In other news, I slightly hate myself. Today it's because I am trying not to eat unless I'm actually hungry, and yet I just went to the vending area to get a Diet Coke as I am struggling to stay atop my posture stool, so tired and hungover do I feel after last night's reduced blood session, but obviously the idea of just drinking a Diet Coke without having anything to dilute its nasty carcinogenic metallicness is hideous, so even though I'm still pretty much full from lunch, I knew in advance that I would definitely purchase an item from the snack machine, and it was my bad luck because my first pack of two fingers of shortbread got stuck, so clearly I had to buy another one, and of course any normal person would have put the second pack in her desk drawer to eat tomorrow, but I am not normal, I am highly special and gifted and talented and disgustingly greedy, so here I am eating my third shortbread finger and lining up the fourth. Yup. There it goes. Not remotely hungry. Why would I eat it? Why? My therapist says it's because I am using food as a reward for feeling shit the rest of the time. I'd buy that, although I haven't really been feeling shit recently. Except for today, and I would have been fine if I had listened to the stupid blood donor woman.
ANYWAY. Today is Chilean miner day and that is all very exciting. That said, I should probably admit that I am completely out of the loop with it and am basically just waiting for the film to come out so that I can watch the whole thing in one handy ninety minute segment rather than following the story unfold over several weeks. Real life is so high maintenance.
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