When I was a bit over the limit in Penzance, I took down an intriguing-looking book from my hosts' shelf. It was a dusty old hardback about circus freaks and my judgement about the cover was proved correct - the contents were indeed intriguing. Sadly, nothing that I read that night has been retained within my skull except a particularly disturbing nugget about China. Not content with traditional freaks like bearded ladies and Siamese twins, the Chinese bred new types of circus curiosities for the ringmaster's amusement. The most bizarre and torturous plan involved putting a small child into a porcelain container with an unusual vase shape. The container had no lid or exit point. Over many years they would feed (and, presumably, clean) the child through a hole in the vessel - but the growing human would never be allowed out. Eventually, the porcelain would be smashed and - hey presto! - a person shaped like a vase! Now that's entertainment. In China.
So tonight, whether you're bored at home on the sofa, rowing with your husband or wishing you were thinner, just remember that you could be stuck in a large vase. And thank your lucky stars.
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