Maybe, maybe not

Hmmm. This disparity in my blog topics has me thinking. The cogs are turning fairly slowly but I'm still not catching the message. It's something about focussing. About people's appreciation for structure and form and, to a certain extent, predictability. Maybe my blog would be more popular if I wrote about one topic.

Maybe I should become 'known' for something. Maybe I should concentrate on a particular issue - like music. The comments I received in response to my Amy Winehouse review made me feel quite warm and fuzzy: it was great to find my words were read by strangers and empathised with too. What's more, Mark (whoever he is) even wished he'd spent the gig next to me! Sure, given my luck with men he's probably short, married, bipolar, aggressive, apolitical, rightwing, humourless and/or gay, but still. It was nice to elicit such a positive response.

But then, maybe I shouldn't be worried about how many people read this blog: maybe the joy of a blog is that a writer can be entirely selfish and not consider a particular audience or publisher or editor. And maybe it's my blog's breadth that appeals to my readers. Maybe if I restricted myself to one topic, I'd miss my absolute freedom to write whatever pops into my head. It's all so disconnected, but maybe that's a good thing. And since that is a true reflection of my life, maybe that's what's interesting. This is the head of a 30 year old London girl: internet dating, office chairs, varicose veins, David Cameron, cerebral palsy and Legoland.

Ach. All this hyperactive mental oscillation is wearing me out. I'm going to carry on filling in next year's diary with important events and pondering my latest quandary: why, when I can swear, hand on heart, that every single time, without exception, that I go to the gym, I leave feeling a) happier, b) more at peace and c) healthier, why on earth don't I want to spend my every waking moment there? Why do I delay doing something that boosts my immune system, makes me physically toned and mentally stable, all the while improving the appearance of cellulite? It's the eighth wonder, I tell you. For all my attempts to be rational, I am fundamentally irrational and absurd. Sigh. Also: commas: high on my list of world's most underrated item. Ooh, am I allowed two colons like that? Actually, I make the rules, it's my blog. I can put colons wherever I want. : : : See? : : : OK. Now I feel queasy. God, I can't even rebel through punctuation. This is pathetic. Even being at the gym is better than this. I'm off.